the stupid things we do....

i am not the kind of actor who is in class or a workshop & shuts down after her scene. meaning that i love to watch other actors work. love it. especially in those scenarios, which usually involve at least a handful of people whose work i already know, respect and admire. i'm not the person who is busy looking over their own scene while someone else is performing if i've yet to have my turn. i also don't generally sit around and communicate with the people around me during a scene.
but today... today i was in a workshop and was caught out at being totally and completely not myself. i had just performed my scene. having sat down while the next actors rose and started their's, i was able to focus fully on them because my scene was good and i had no need to review or critique myself in my head. they started, and were stopped for notes. while this break in the scene was happening i had a non-verbal exchange with the girl next to me, who was showing me that she had the same scene i did. and i was indicating that 1 other group also had the scene. why was this something we needed to share at that moment? no idea. what i do know is that in the midst of this exchange, the performing actors started their scene up again, and the CD who was holding the workshop proceeded to call the 2 of us out on our rude & inappropriate behavior of talking during someone else's work. and she was absolutely right~it was rude and completely self-centered. it was also not the sort of thing i~nor the girl who was involved in this with me~normally do. we both love to watch how other people craft their craft around 10 minutes rehearsal time. but there it was. we got a mini-lecture which made my cheeks burn and my brain go, "well, so much for my work, my money and any chance in that office. fuck."
so it sucked. and i know i need to shake it off and remember that i am not a rude and inconsiderate person, that i am a supportive and generous actor, that i really do respect other people's work time & space. but right now i'm just completely frustrated and agitated with myself and the situation. i hope that the CD is a generous sort of soul who won't hold this against either of us, give the benefit of the doubt that this was not a normal behavior. call us in anyway. but it just goes to show you.... there's never a time to forget your manners.