well, today i had my first "bathing suit" audition. yes, that's correct. i had to go in and prance around mostly-naked, in all my winter-pale glory, in front of strangers, and then lay all over a half-naked stranger while they evaluated my bikini-wearing and jacuzzi-imagining talents. i thought today was a day that would test my resolve about using my talents instead of my physical being to get work~but strangly enough, i am secure enough now in my talent that it was not really much different from any other audition.
you see, i figured out a long time ago that it would be reasonably easy to exploit myself in the so-called pursuit of my dream. people make that very easy, no matter what you look like. however, my dream has never been to be lauded for the way i look. so i refused that notion.
since moving to l.a. i have determined that there's not a lot of choice, people view you through your external filter anyway. so the best that i could do was be comfortable with how i look and not overdo, while focusing the actual energy on my work, continue developing my talent.
so this morning, while i was getting ready for my audition i sort of started thinking, "well, kate, you watch what you eat and you go to the gym regularly. you should be proud of your physical appearance and just consider that a perk to your more-relevant talent. feel good about being called in for having both."
which is all great self-conversation. and i bought it..... but let me tell you, it was still a bit strange...
well, someone has to pay the rent. i hope it's domino's~that was the spot.
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